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  With Warm Regards, Franny

  Ben Chambers

  Austin Macauley Publishers

  With Warm Regards, Franny

  About the Book

  Copyright Information

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  About the Book

  Franny has no idea what the hell she wants to do with her life. She is fast-approaching the end of her studies at university and is struggling to figure out her next step. As she attempts to navigate through her problems, an untimely tragedy derails her delicate emotional state. With Warm Regards, Franny follows the turmoil of a young woman facing a vulnerable transition period in her life. Innocently warm, and touchingly tragic, it is a story about uncertainty, isolation, loss and hope.

  Copyright Information

  Copyright © Ben Chambers (2019)

  The right of Ben Chambers to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

  Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

  A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

  ISBN 9781788781428 (Paperback)

  ISBN 9781528955881 (ePub e-book)

  www.austinmacauley.com

  First Published (2019)

  Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd

  25 Canada Square

  Canary Wharf

  London

  E14 5LQ

  Chapter One

  I’m not very pretty. You should probably know that right away, in case you’re here for that kind of thing. It’s really quite rude that people always seem to care whether you’re very attractive or not. Like last year, I applied for this job as a receptionist at a law firm. You should see my CV. That’s curriculum vitae. It’s really very good, in my opinion. I haven’t had a whole lot of jobs throughout my life, but I do, at least, know how to write a very good CV. The recruiting lady said she had selected me from over two hundred applicants. I talked to her over the phone, and she said they were very interested in me, that my CV was exceptionally written. I got a very exciting email arranging a meeting with them. However, once I got there, I could see almost instantly that they weren’t going to hire me. I could tell just by looking at them. They were a very respectable law firm, and they wanted a pretty face on the front desk. I’m not a pretty face. I’m not horribly ugly or anything. I’m fairly skinny, and I have quite clear skin. I’m just not law firm pretty. The truth, though, is that I didn’t even write my own CV. I certainly wrote some of it, but then I had my friend Penny edit it for me. She’s very intelligent. She frequently stays up late reading books and watching movies and learning a lot of stuff. She certainly does have a very big vocabulary. I wish I was very intelligent. Then I could have a very good vocabulary, too. I’m actually quite stupid. I spent about two days planning what I was going to say in that interview. It’s because I get very nervous a lot of the time. The blood just rushes to my head, and it’s almost like I can’t understand anything.

  I want to tell you about some stuff that happened to me. Some pretty bad stuff. I haven’t really told anyone about it, but I thought I should at least write it down.

  I went to university very early on Friday morning. I thought I could get an early start on my essay. I had this essay that I had to write. I’m studying history—don’t ask me why. People always ask me what I’m going to do with a history degree. I don’t know. But the library didn’t open until six. So I had to just sleep by the door for a while and wait for the security man to come and open the building.

  The essay that I was trying to write was due on Monday. I hadn’t done any of it then, so I sort of needed to get working. It was the last thing I needed to do to pass my degree. It was worth forty percent of my final grade, so it was pretty important. I had also sort of missed some of my other assessments that semester, so I really needed to do well in that one. I needed to write an exemplary essay.

  I had planned it all out very well. I was going to dedicate all of Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to finishing it. Then I could go to university on Monday, all ready to hand it in, so I didn’t have anything to worry about. It didn’t work out like that, though. But it really wasn’t my own fault, I don’t think. I’m just very unlucky.

  When the building opened, I went straight in to the library. I actually went to the computer lab, but that’s in the basement of the library building. So it’s all the same, I guess. It’s a grey room with these very boring rows of grey computers. I sat down at a desk. But I knew right from the very start, almost from the very instant I sat down, even, that I couldn’t focus. My mind was very distracted. There had been a lot of bad stuff going on, and I couldn’t get it out of my head.

  But I really did want to write my essay very badly. As a matter of fact, just the week before, I had been thinking about myself writing my essay. I had this cool vision of me being exceptionally talented at writing essays. I imagined I would sit down at the computer, with my pile of research notes. I’d keep my bag on the floor though, around my feet, with my food in it. I’d be the only one in the computer room, because I had come in so early. I might even be the only one at the whole university. Then I’d sit there for maybe ten minutes, just being still and quiet. I’d have my eyes closed; I wouldn’t even be looking at the computer. What I was doing was mentally preparing myself. I’d be concentrating and focusing. Maybe even meditating. Putting my brain into essay writing mode. Then I’d open my eyes and start working. I would have all my research in a big jumble all around me. Except it wasn’t a jumble to me, I knew exactly what it all was. I’d be typing very fast, only pausing to search through some of the notes on my desk. People would start to fill the computer room around me, but I wouldn’t even notice. I’d be so focused on my essay. I’d work like that for hours. I’d even forget about my food and water, because I was working so hard. Then, maybe six or seven hours later, I’d be finished. I wouldn’t have even realised that I went a thousand words over the limit, so I might have to go back and edit a bit out. But that would be okay. Because in the end, I’d have a really good essay.

  I really wanted to do that. The only trouble was that I just couldn’t seem to focus. I ended up sitting at the computer for a few hours, just sort of messing around, looking up various topics on the Internet. Sometimes though, the Internet can be very good for learning a lot of things. I learned quite a few interesting things when I was there. I can’t quite remember them all now to tell you about, but they were very interesting, I remember.

  After a while though, I realised I needed a break. I had used up my mind too much on other topics, and I needed to give it some rest before I got back into my essay. I packed up my bag and things, because you’re not supposed to leave your stuff in the computer room. There are always signs everywhere saying ‘Do not l
eave your valuables unattended. Thieves are about’, but I’ve never even seen a single one.

  I decided to go for a walk around university. It was very bright outside. I had to stop for a moment and rub my eyes because they were having trouble adjusting to the new atmosphere. But it was quite nice out there. The sky was pretty clear, and the sun was very warm too. I already felt quite refreshed. I thought right away that I could probably turn around, go back inside, and write my essay. I could probably write it very well, too. But I decided to continue my walk anyway.

  University was quite busy. There were lots of people coming in for their morning classes. I was walking into the main quad area of campus. That was the part where, in the first week of the year, they always had a lot of stalls for different groups and clubs and stuff. The whole area would always be packed with new people just starting university. And they all wanted to get involved with everything by signing up to a lot of things. I always wondered whether people really wanted to join clubs because they thought it would be a lot of fun or because all they really wanted was to do was put down a lot of extra-curricular activities on their job applications. It’s pretty hard to tell what people are thinking, sometimes. I certainly never joined any for fun. I didn’t think they would be fun at all. I never joined any just to put on job applications either, though.

  But one club I did really like the look of was the vegetarian club. I’m not a vegetarian myself, but sometimes I think it would be quite nice not to eat animals all the time. But the main reason I really liked the look of the club was because they had this very cool stall set up. What they did was, they brought in a real sheep! It was just this big fat sheep that was standing in the quad. They had built this little fence around it and filled it with a lot of hay so that it would have something to snack on. And I guess so that it didn’t have to stand on the hard concrete all day. That stuff can make your feet pretty sore after a while. But they had a big sign saying that you could pat the sheep. Or even feed it some hay! I got so excited when I saw that! There was a big queue for it, so I joined the line. And when I got to the front, I ran right up to the sheep. I leaned over the fence and patted it. It was kind of rough. I thought it would be pretty soft, but it wasn’t. So that was a little bit disappointing. But what was really good was when I got to feed it some hay. It ate it right out of my hand! It wasn’t scared of me or anything! I thought that was so cool.

  That sheep looked pretty funny. Kind of ugly, actually. But I didn’t mind, because it was so friendly, too. And that’s all that really matters, I guess. I even went in the line about two more times, even though I had already signed up, just to feed the sheep again. The vegetarians didn’t mind though; they just let me do it. It was a pretty good day.

  But there weren’t any stalls in the quad just then. It was only packed with people, and I was right in the thick of it. It was funny, because I could just stand still, right in the centre, and everyone would all move around me. It was like I had an invisible forcefield or something, and people had to bounce off it and go around me. It felt quite cool, for a moment. Like I had superpowers or something.

  Although then I became sort of startled, because almost instantly, I saw these two people I know, Anne and Penny.

  They saw me, too. Anne ran up to me and gave me a big hug. “Franny, I haven’t seen you in ages!” she kind of yelled in my ear.

  “Hi, Anne,” I said. I don’t like Anne very much.

  Penny came up to me then with this very warm smile on her face. I told you about her before.

  “Hi, Penny,” I said. I like Penny quite a lot.

  We all sort of stood there for a moment and didn’t say anything. Then Anne said, “What have you been up to?”

  “Oh, me?” I said. I wasn’t sure if she was talking to me or not. My mind was still a little bit confused from the essay writing. “I’m just writing my essay.”

  “Oh god, isn’t it just the worst? End of semester essays drive me nuts.”

  “Yeah,” I said. I didn’t really feel much like talking to Anne. Especially not about essays. I turned to Penny instead. “How are you, Penny?”

  “I’m really good,” she said. “It’s so nice to see you. I’ve missed you and Vincent, that little rascal.”

  Vincent’s my cat. But he ran away a few years ago. I guess Penny didn’t know about that. I didn’t really feel like telling her about it just then, though. I didn’t want to upset her. Penny used to come over to my house a lot to play with me and Vincent. We used to be very good friends, me and Penny. We’re still pretty good friends, I guess. But she doesn’t really ever come over anymore. She’s so nice, though. And very pretty, too. She’s tall and slim with this really nice brown hair. Sometimes she has it short, and it looks very good on her. And sometimes she wears it long, and that looks very good, too. I think you’d like her, if you met her.

  Then Penny said, “Sorry, Franny, we’re a bit late to class, so we’ve probably got to run along.”

  “That’s okay,” I said. I was a bit sad that Penny had to go, but I figured I should probably continue with my walk anyway, so I could refresh my brain.

  “But hey, would you like to hang out this afternoon and get lunch with us? Around one o’clock. Do you think you’d have time, with your essay?”

  I thought about it for a moment. “I’d better just do my essay today, I think.”

  “That’s all right,” she said. Then Anne started to lead her off, toward their class, I guess. “Let’s make sure we hang out after exams are over, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Bye!” Anne said. They started to walk off. Then I heard Anne yell, “Oh! The party!” She turned around and came back over to me. “You should come to the party tonight.”

  “What party?” I said.

  “It’s Lily’s party.”

  “I don’t know who that is.”

  “That’s all right, it will be lots of fun. The more the merrier. We want it to be a huge party. Do you want to come?”

  I kind of just stood there, not too sure. I looked over at Penny, who was standing a bit away from us. She was just looking at me to see what I would say.

  “Come on!” Anne said and kind of teasingly pushed me. I think she was trying to be funny. I didn’t think it was very funny, though. I don’t really like it when people push me. “We’ve got to get to class, so just say yes.”

  So I said yes.

  She told me she’d send me all the details, but I told her my phone was broken. That was a lie. It wasn’t actually broken. I had just turned it off the day before. There were some people that might have been trying to contact me that I didn’t really feel like talking to at that moment. I felt a bit nervous about turning it back on, to be honest. So I just asked her to write the details down for me. She seemed a bit annoyed when I asked her to do that, but she did it anyway. Then they said goodbye and went to class.

  I had a whole new thing to worry about then, with the party. I don’t even know why I said yes. Sometimes I’ll do things like that, and then I’ll wish I didn’t even do them at all. I tried to continue my walk after that, but I couldn’t even seem to do that properly. I kept almost bumping into people. My brain was so distracted with my thoughts that it couldn’t even focus on what my eyes were seeing. I had to sit down after a moment, because I was breathing quite heavily. I quite frequently get light headed when I have a lot on my mind. I started feeling a little bit like that, and I knew I should sit down. I didn’t want to make myself faint or anything. That happens sometimes.

  Eventually, there weren’t so many people walking around, because they had gone into their classes. That made me feel a bit better. I also felt a bit rested too, from sitting on the bench, and that was good as well. So, I went back to the computer room. I tried to write some more of my essay, but I still couldn’t seem to focus. I just spent the rest of the morning kind of hanging at university, messing around on the computers, since I wasn’t in the mindset for writing my essay anyway. I still had Saturday
and Sunday to finish it though, so it wasn’t too bad.

  At about two o’clock, I decided I would go into the city to do a little bit of shopping for the party. University is quite close to the city centre, so I could just walk there. It was mostly downhill too, which was an added bonus. I wouldn’t get so tired then. I was only wearing a black skirt and this dark red top, so I needed some other clothes to wear. I also needed some makeup and a few other things. Normally I would just use the ones at my flat, but I couldn’t really go back there anymore because of what happened. So I would have to purchase brand new things. I didn’t have much money, but I guessed I could spend some of my savings. I had to buy Lily a present for her birthday party, too. I didn’t even know who she was, so I had no idea what I was going to get her.

  When I got up to leave university, I realised I was very hungry. I didn’t bring any food with me, so I had to buy a vending machine lunch. That’s what I call my lunch when I buy it from the vending machine. It was just a chocolate brownie and some potato chips, but they tasted quite nice.

  Chapter Two

  I went down into the big shopping area in my city. It didn’t take too long to get there. There were normal people walking around in normal clothes and business people walking around in their business suits. My dad calls them monkey suits. His name’s Francis. He thinks of silly things like that sometimes. It always makes me smile.

  There was one businessman I saw, though, who was different. He looked mostly just like the others, in his very serious suit. But I saw that he had on these super colourful socks. They were red and blue striped. I thought that was so cool. And it made me like him quite a lot, even though I didn’t even talk to him a single time. I thought maybe it might be quite boring to wear the same black and white suit every day. But secretly wearing cool colourful socks under your shoes like that would be lots of fun.

  I needed to get some makeup for the party that night. My mother used to buy all my makeup for me. Her name’s Lucinda. But I’ve only ever called her Lucy. She’s a very nervous person. She’s scared of everything. She’s even scared of other people not being scared enough about things. Like when I lived at home, she never used to let me go for walks by myself. Not even just around the block! She was scared that I would get kidnapped. Or that I might fall over and hurt myself and there would be no one to save me. Even though I’m twenty-two years old! My dad even once got a tattoo on his arm of Piglet, from Winne the Pooh. He said it was just like her. Because she was always scared of everything, just like Piglet. He said he got it because it meant he loved her a lot. That was quite a long time ago, though.